Parenting is Divine

Growing up I never understood the purposes in marriage. I never saw it as a companionship; this was because I never saw my parents converse with one another throughout the day. They were always just focused on us and not each other. But later I found out they would conversate when the kids went to bed.

My parents are planners. They were planners from the very beginning. They set goals and plans as to how to manage a family. Their goal was to bring forth good and hardworking people to this society. This desire came from their own experiences. My dad came from a family with a lack of parent figures. My mom comes from a family with a lack of father figures. They recognized how these perks affected them and their siblings. My parents felt their own family deserve better. They read books, went to parent meetings, and sought advice from professionals.  One of their number one rules was to avoid spanking and hitting; another was avoiding vulgar language. They held true to these for all four of us.

Parenting is crucial to a child’s development. The way you parent can really set the tone of that person’s life. I’m not a parent yet but I understood the importance when I served a two-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Being a new missionary, you have a trainer to show you the ropes on how to be a successful. We had a special booklet to follow as well as exercises or activities to practice skills and techniques. When I would run into my peers some of them expressed that their trainers were lazy and didn’t have them work according to the books. This happened pretty often amongst my friends which made it difficult when I would be paired off with them because they would either be lazy or not confident in their occupation. 

I imagined trainers to be like parents. They are there to set the tone and skills necessary to achieve success in your occupation. After seeing our program not being so effective by my peers I had the desire to prepare myself in being a trainer. I worked hard, I studied, and practiced habits to see what helped in making us successful. Others I knew did the same. By the time I trained my own missionaries I strived to make sure they were firm in all aspects of being a missionary. We read our manuals, we practiced, and did all that we could to be effective. Part of being a good trainer was communication. There were many times when I had to follow up with my trainees and see how they were doing mentally, physically, and emotionally. This bonded us; this helped us gain trust and love for each other. As a result, I was able to follow up and see them train others and be successful.

On the two-year mission I came to realize that I cared about our occupation. I cared about the program and I wanted to do good by training good people, so we can bring good to others and spread love and happiness. When I returned home, I gained the desire to be a parent. My desire is to bring in good children with a foundation of faith, love, and charity. I want to bring forth kids who will bless the community. But easier said than done.

Parenting takes careful planning and the right attitude. As of right now I’m studying the importance of emotional coaching. An emotional coach is a parenting style. It is when you are engaged in your children’s words, thoughts, and feelings. Emotion coaching is a technique that helps children understand their feelings. When parents emotion coach, their children learn how emotions work and how to react to feelings in healthy ways. Emotion coaching starts by recognizing your child’s feelings. These recognitions are perfect opportunities to learn and grow together. Try it out!

You Cannot Dodge Finances in Marriage: Prepare Now!

Couples have an anticipation for the most important event of their lives; this is marriage. Yes, love within marriage is important but I’ve learned that marriage requires preparation. There have been many occasions where people ask, “Who is going to manage the finances in the marriage?” Many have not even discussed this topic.

How important are money management and finances in marriage and family affairs? There is a high percentage of divorces being traced to quarrels and accusations over money. There are other estimations that divorces result from clashes over finances. Some professional counselors indicated that four out of five families are strapped with serious money problems.

Marriage struggles are not caused by lack of money, but by the mismanagement of personal finances. Money management should be on a partnership basis between the wife and husband. Both parties should have a voice in decision. When children come in the picture, they too should be involved with money concern. 

My sister, who has six kids, is a master of money management. Her and her husband have weekly accountability with finances. They have a book to keep record of what they’re spending and what needs to be paid off. They occasionally share concern of finances with their children to help them understand their way of spending. There has been times where I see the little ones complaining of how little food they think they have at the dinner table. In response, the older children express the value of money and how much they’ve gone through. Diner table has been conditioned to be a time of love and gratitude for what they have.

Teaching family members early is an importance of working and earning. In other words, children should be taught to work. “I think it is unfortunate for a child to grow up in a home where the seed is planted in the child’s mind that there is a family money tree that automatically drops green stuff once a month.” I couldn’t agree more with this statement from Marvin J. Ashton.

            People should consider self-discipline and self-restraint in money matters. Married couples show consideration and maturity when they are thinking of their partners and families before making own selfish impulses.

            I thank my sister in teaching me this one. She always asks the question, “Do you need it or want it.” I can’t tell you how many times she has said that. But it is true and should be considered. I love clothes and buying what’s new. I’ve been taught to remember that materialistic things do not last forever. If you need clothes, then shop smarter. In my family I’ve been taught to be mindful of deals and discounts stores may offer. Sometimes I even go to my local Thrift Shop to get a better bargain. 

            “Use a budget!” my sister says. We should avoid finance charges, except for homes, education, and other vital investments. Marvin J. Ashton said, “Avoid installment credit and be careful with your use of credit cards. They are principally for convenience and should not be used carelessly or recklessly. Buy used items until you have saved sufficient money to purchase quality new items. Save and invest a specific percent of income. Learn the principle of obedience and meet your financial obligations promptly.”

            Overall, money should be handled promptly. It’s for our achievement and happiness when done right. Following the “What I need” idea can really come a long way in the future. As a man of spirituality, I am confident to say that God can help manage our weakness in spending and finances. His hand is always extended to help us. With service, love, obedience. And diligence, things will always work out.

COMMUNICATION = LOVE

Communication is a powerful tool that can bind individuals together. When I searched this term, three definitions daunted me: 

1.) It is the imparting or exchanging of information or news. 

2.) It is a letter or message containing information or news.

3.) It is the successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings.

This is what I gathered together for myself. Communication is an exchange or giving of information that can make one successful. In our daily conversation we are given information. We get good and bad feedback. But, no matter what, retrieving this information can be good even if it is given with negativity. Feedback helps us grow, observe ourselves, and learn.

Communication is the way to strengthen a relationship. I’ve encountered man people who ended relationships because of a lack of communication. I found that it was hard for these people to recover from these past relationships. I’ve realized that a lot of people lack closure, or in other words, a lack of communication. I’ll share with you an example of how a lack of communication can be unhealthy. Especially when ending a relationship.

I was in a five-year relationship. We both had plans of someday getting married to each other. I was in love with her. I was so excited to make vows with my best friend. But then, life started getting difficult. We both strived to hang on to our promises. But one day it all changed. One day I shared with her my struggles and insecurities and sought for her love and support. She panicked and left me. It’s been a year now and I still don’t know why she left. She never gave me a solid reason why. I was just having a bad day, shared a concern, and hoped she would help me. I assume she wasn’t having a bad day too and made the decision off of her emotions. It’s a mystery. We lacked communication. Could you imagine what this did to me? It’s obvious. I was left confused. I lacked closure. I was left with my imagination to believe that there were a lot of things wrong with me. It’s been a year since this happen and I am still recovering. What I learned from this experience is everyone deserves an explanation behind every action they take.

Communication is the biggest thing I value when it comes to a relationship. Every date I’ve been on I make sure to make communication a priority. I’d admit, I’ve probably let down a few girls the past year by not being fully committed in being in a relationship. But, I make sure I give them closure because I don’t want them to suffer like the way I did. These girls deserve an explanation. It may be hard, but I believe that this strengthens us. Communication or not, we are still learning. But, we are more successful when we are conversing with one another.

This goes for the family. Communication is needed in the bonds of marriage. Life gets hard. Both partners should be open in conversation to endure the negativities of life. I look to my parents when it comes to endurance and communication. When things get hard they always checked on each other. They would have counsels on where they were emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually. If one of these three things were lacking, they would work to fix it. As a result, their marriage has lasted for 40 years. They are still going. Today it has been difficult. They are empty nesters and are caught up in a very simple routine. My dad has been isolated to his phone and my mom, her shows. The more they avoid each other, the more insecurities started seeping in. Both of them believed that they were not happy with each other. But they realized that they were caught in the web of the media and forgotten about their vows. They were able to recognize this and find ways on how they can improve. They continue because they communicate.

Family Crises. A Bitter Sweet Experience

Family Crises. A Bitter Sweet Experience

We all face some sort of family crises. Humanity is exposed to different stressors, whether it be finances, lack of intimacy, addictions, and so on. How can we endure these crises? I will let you determine that as I share a few experiences.

When I was a child, I never understood the relationship between a father and mother. I never saw support or contribution from my father. This was because he was never home, and he was always working. My mother and siblings were the only relationships I felt I had. I remember one night my mom woke me up. She sat beside my bed and started to cry. She expressed to me that she was missing my father. She told me that he was coming home late because he would spend time with his brothers right after his shift. I remember her saying, “He doesn’t care about me. All he cares about is his immediate family!” I was so confused at this moment but understood that my mom had a love for her husband. That’s when I had the idea that maybe husband, and wives are supposed to be intimate, working together, and build a family together. Looking back, I realized that a stressor in the family can be a lack of support. For example, my mom lacked emotional support. She told me stories of all the great experiences she had with my dad early in marriage. My mom expressed that her relationship digressed the more he worked and avoided the family. But this improved over the years. They met with a therapist and made a few steps to get back on track. Now they have been married for 40years and are still going strong.

Another story involves my brother. When I was about 7-8 years old my mom did the same thing. She sat on the edge of my bed and started crying about something in her life. She shared with me that my older brother was involved in drugs and alcohol. One night he came home drunk and started yelling and being aggressive with my parents and siblings. This upset my family because we grew up with standards. My older brother was a kind and sweet man, but yet he adopted unhealthy habits. My parents come from a culture of being healthy. This scared them because they were aware of the possibilities of bad brain development for him. My brother’ stopped going to school and his grades dropped. After seeing my mother’s response, I too was upset. Being a child, I had this idea that my brother was going to die because of drugs and alcohol. One night I was overwhelmed with emotions and couldn’t help but bury myself in my older brother’s chest and tell him that I didn’t want him to drink and smoke anymore. Ever since this day I can’t remember a time where he picked up those habits again. My brother graduated, got a great job, and is healthier than ever.

The list continues for family crises’. My last story involves my middle brother. This was when he was 17 years old (Junior in Highschool). One night he came home in despair. My parents knew something was off, so they took him in their bedroom and asked what was up. With no delay he confessed to them that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. My mom comforted him and started making plans on how he can prepare. My dad felt like a failure and left the room. They didn’t see it then, but this drove my brother to be one of the most hard-working men I know. He learned to put his family first. He learned the value behind money. He failed, succeeded, and failed again. He always got up and was willing to humble himself and make sacrifices. Even though this was a struggle for our family financially and emotionally, things always worked out.

Even though we may not see the future, life crises can be handled. They can somehow turn out to be something good. In my family it happened to be bitter sweet.

We Need to Teach Children Intimacy 

Intimacy is an important part of our relationships with others. In my studies I have learned that to understand intimacy, we must first understand the purpose of families/relationships. Why are families a thing? What is their purpose? I’ll let you ponder on those questions.

We must understand our roles to each other. Teaching human intimacy is a vital role to the human race. Why? It’s because intimacy is a special thing; it is an expression of love to a person. It is a topic that can help children be prepared. Why do you think children need to prepare and be taught this knowledge?

If your goal is to teach your children important morals to help them be wiser individuals, I would say, “Educate them on what love and intimacy is.” There are a few angles we can teach this. First, teach your children what a morally/wise person is by example. Then teach your children the value behind every human being. Teach them that everyone has special gifts and intelligence that hold worth. Teach your children to use these gifts in the way they are best suited to establish good and healthy relationships with others. 

By your example and teachings, your children should know and understand what a wise person is. As you stick with your goals and stay consistent in example, your children have a good chance in being good parents themselves. Honor and encourage one another. 

I hope you that a great responsibility in life is being not just a good parent, but a great one. You create conditions and circumstances. You have the power to encourage. Everything you do can bring the blessing of intimate individuals. This means developing people who are kind, loving, and willing to serve others (being intimate.) Intimacy is all about building.

A good parent is someone who is an emotional coach. This is someone who listens carefully to their child’s emotions and takes these moments to teach.  This will help your children become proud, secure, and happy individuals. This will build your relationship and will essentially rub off on them, leading them to do the same with individuals they encounter. 

The more you communicate with your child with love, the better chance you have in having a human being who loves and trusts you. Your child will love you and will look to you when they hve questions. Once you gain their trust, this is the perfect time to teach. Someday you will have the privilege to teach them sexual intimacy. Having their trust is vital. They will seek to learn and ask for this type of information someday. So, be ready!

For me, sexual intimacy is not appropriate before marriage. I fear that many relationships rush in their development together. We human beings tend to rush and skip the important steps in a relationship. In my eyes it’s important to know someone, then trust them, rely on them, commit to them, and engage in some degree of physical tough. When a relationship is focused on touch then that can define that relationship. I know many couples who engaged in sexual activity before marriage and admitted that they didn’t really know their partner at all. They just saw them as someone who is nice to cuddle or sleep with in bed. 

I believe it’s important to date and really get to know a person. Once you understand the content of their heart, then we can move on to trusting them, relying on them, committing to them, and touching them (simply a hug or holding hands). I feel if men and women waited to be sexually intimate (intercourse) till marriage it will be better for the relationship. How? Well, because after knowing them, trusting, relying, and committing you can learn who they really are. You then can appreciate them and express your love in a way through touch, hence intimacy. Now, how should we teach this to children. My answer, “I’m not a professional.” But, my advice is to educate yourself and teach your children at a time where you find it best. Every child is different and unique. Be yourself, be good, and be wise. Be that awesome parent. Your wisdom will open doors that will help you communicate with your children in a way where they will be blessed.

NOURISH, NOURISH, NOURISH!

My thoughts in this matter are focused on the teachings from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

“Marriage would be happier if nurtured more carefully.” These are wise words from a man name Russell M. Nelson.

 I came across an article, focused on the value of nurturing in marriage. There were many thoughts and insights I came across that may add value to people who are religious and are striving to add good morals to the home. 

Mr. Nelson starts off his speech by sharing a story. He said:

“On a recent flight, I sat behind a husband and wife. She obviously loved her husband. As she stroked the back of his neck I could see her wedding ring. She would nestle close to him and rest her head upon his shoulder, seeking his companionship.

In contrast, he seemed totally oblivious to her presence. He was focused solely upon an electronic game player. During the entire flight, his attention was riveted upon that device. Not once did he look at her, speak to her, or acknowledge her yearning for affection.

His inattention made me feel like shouting: “Open your eyes, man! Can’t you see? Pay attention! Your wife loves you! She needs you!”

Sometimes we may feel the same way, being concerned of someone’s relationship. These experiences are good. They help us learn and observe the possibilities of what the future my look like. These experiences can mold us to become better spouses. 

Marriage brings happiness. This courtship adds more joy than does any other human relationship. Yet, there are many couples who fall short in reaching their full potential. They let their romance slacken allowing other interests to cloud the vision of what marriage really could be. Everyone experiences trials and become distracted. Many forget their vows and promsses they make in the beginning of marriage. Being mindful of this can possibly save and prepare you on how you can better nourish your marriage.

Russell M. Nelson gave three suggestions to strengthen marriage. They are three action verbs: to appreciate, to communicate, and to contemplate. 

He said, “To appreciate—to say “I love you” and “thank you”—is not difficult. But these expressions of love and appreciation do more than acknowledge a kind thought or deed. They are signs of sweet civility. As grateful partners look for the good in each other and sincerely pay compliments to one another, wives and husbands will strive to become the persons described in those compliments.”

 Second is to communicate with your spouse. This includes planning together. Couples need time to observe, talk, and really listen to each other. Cooperating will help them become more united in the bonds of marriage. They should strive to motivate each other. This unity can sustain them when goals are equally understood. Both in partnership should be on the same page.

Russel M. Nelson continues, “My third suggestion is to contemplate. This word has deep meaning. It comes from Latin roots: con, meaning “with,” and templum, meaning “a space or place to meditate.” It is the root from which the word temple comes.” Essentially our home is a temple. It is a place where rules and laws of respect and unity are established. Contemplation allows one to anticipate and to resonate with each other; this will nourish the marriage.

Each married partner should consider these suggestions by practicing them, then determine specific goals to nurture their own relationship. This all begins with sincere desire and the right attitude. Above all, they should strive to not be selfish! May we consider appreciation, communication, and contemplation in our relationships.

Thinking About Relationships

Have you ever thought about the kind of person you want to marry? Growing up, I never understood the importance of family; I never thought about the values behind marriage. I just saw it as two people interested in each other and so they went to court, moved in with each other, and that’s it. But as I matured, I started studying the family and the pros and cons in marriage. For me, the pros have outweighed the cons. I have come to value the importance of relationships. Eventually, I would like to get to know someone enough where I can someday take their hand in marriage and live a life full of progress and wisdom. But it all starts somewhere. It starts at dating.

Dating is very popular in the city of Rexburg, Idaho. Everyone is striving to find someone who is compatible to their needs. I’ve been on many dates; I struggle in finding someone who I best connect with. In my experience, I’ve wondered if there is a “one and only” for me. Is there a perfect match? And will I discover them? These questions are very romantic and dreamy but are not realistic. I came across an article that said, “There is no such thing as a perfect woman. If there was, what makes you think she would be interested in you?” This taught me that no one is perfect. Everyone has a weakness. Every relationship has their ups and downs. You can approach any couple and ask if there was one thing they didn’t like about the other. Big or small, there will be something.

I once believed that marriages were perfect. I believed this because I came across many married couples who showed no display of anger or anxiety. But I was wrong. There is much more that goes behind the scenes. I learned this from my parents. In a social setting, they are always happy and loving towards each other. Yes, they stay the same behind doors too but once one person in the relationship makes a choice that offends the other, that’s when disconnection and fights happen. Disagreements occur. I found this downgrading when I first discovered it. But then I realized that these fights are perfect opportunities to learn and grow with each other. It takes two to tangle; it also takes two to untangle and start again. In relationships people tend to “fall in and out of love.” But people shouldn’t worry falling in love can really strengthen a marriage far beyond than it once was. I’ll use my sister for an example.

My sister was the bread winner in the family with a stay home husband who took care of six kids. The oldest child was 10 years old. The youngest was a newborn. Around this time her husband failed to take care of the children. He wasted time by surfing the web and social media. My sister felt like she was doing everything on her home. When she would vent to her fellow mothers she learned that their husbands were always helpful. Their husbands always took initiative. This got her upset. She saw her husband to be very lazy. The more she picked on his weaknesses, the more she was falling out of love. She was forgetting the love she had for her husband. She was forgetting why she fell in love with him in the first place. This all changed when her husband realized his role. He saw that he wasn’t being a provider in the home. I’m not sure where and how this change happened but he started job searching. He found a job that paid very well. He started helping around the house a lot more. He started engaging in chores, story time, and dinner. When these positive habits started presenting itself, my sister was slowly falling in love with him again. They eventually talked about it. He shared with her why he’s been lazy. She learned that his actions were a reflection of his child development. She recognized these early years affected him and wanted to help.

My sister and him communicated more. They were more honest than ever. My sister has said, “Because of this trial we have learned more about each other. I am in love with him more than ever.”

Same- Sex Attraction and the Respect For Choices

Same- Sex Attraction and the Respect For Choices

Everyone has a choice. I promote passion and love for individuals who struggle from same sex attraction.

Many individuals who have struggled with this enjoyed it but have come to learn that they were not happy. Many homosexuals didn’t choose to have these feelings. These feelings were developed at a young age.

I’ve often wondered, “what causes these feelings of attraction for a person of the same sex?” Experts have given some possibilities. Dr. Joseph Nicolosi (clinical psychologist) has said there is no evidence that it is biologically or pre-genetically pre-determined. There is more evidence for early childhood factors especially from the relationship of parents that determine an individual’s state of attraction in the future. Floyd Godfrey (who worked with 900 individuals with unwanted same-sex attraction) said that everyone has factors and needs.

 There are different contributing factors. Not everyone may have all of them but are eventually drawn to same-sex attraction. One of the potential contributing factors is lack of gender identity. Individuals have expressed rejection from same sex peers. They have expressed how they have not felt masculine enough, compared to others. The longing for male connection becomes gender identity.

Bullying detaches. For example, people have been bullied for their looks and stature or size. This aggressive behavior has driven those who struggle from same-sex attraction feel disconnected.

Another potential factor is the longing for a father figure. This is driven because of personality interests from the father, abuse, and other interactions or lack of interactions. Individuals take things to heart. What they experience in early development can essentially affect a person’s perception, possibly leading them to same-sex attraction.

Many men have been sexually abused or touched inappropriately. Some men have never been touched at all, lacking connection or warmth from parents. This makes them vulnerable. 

Pornography is another factor that can reinforce imagery that might bring same-sex attraction or feelings. Some young men has said that thoughts and interests in same sex attraction developed in early views of pornography.

Individuals who struggle with this attraction have expressed pain and confusion. There has been a state of emptiness. Through thereapy you can come to understand where your actions come from. Through all this work it is not easy. There will be many mistakes made along the way, but it will be rewarding in the end, as stated by individuals who have recovered from same-sex attraction. Once a person sees what causes their homosexual feelings, Floyd Godfrey has learned that attraction was brought because of lack of connection with other men. 

Most men can pick out short defining points that are encouraging to them. This is when they notice that their attraction is diminished. Self-esteem began to arise when this step happened; security in self and masculinity was improved.

Dr. Stanton L. Jones has a significant study that shows that some people with unwanted same-sex attraction can change. It’s believed that this is not changeable.

Individuals who have overcome same-sex attraction has shared positive experiences in their turning point. Eventually, in time, their attraction for the opposite sex developed. Some individuals expressed the joy they felt once they were able to achieve the love and compassion for those of the opposite sex. They felt good and right. Nicolas Cummings (psychologist) has seen hundreds who changed and achieved very happy and heterosexual lives.

In my studies I learned that a person is one who decides in what they want to do. Everyone has a choice or agency. I respect If someone who wants to be gay. I respect people who wants to marry the same sex. But I respect the right to disagree. I am a person who doesn’t accept the practice due to personal background. This doesn’t mean I hate homosexuals. I have many family members and friends who are homosexual. I love them and choose to treat them any different. Again, every person decides what they want to do. I cannot change that.

COMING FROM TWO CULTURES

Culture is among us. It is a topic that is influential to the family; culture defines the family. It is a set of shared values, attitudes, and practices that describe an organization or group.

I come from two different cultures; Samoan culture and Mexican culture. In these cultures, activities are done together, traditionally as a family. Samoans and Mexicans are passionate in their faith, family and music. 

My father is Samoan. He has acquired many of their traditions, the biggest one being family. Samoans have an attitude of respect to all individuals, especially the elderly. The elderly are wise and are highly respected. In family reunions, feasting is a way of expressing thanks and love towards each other. The elderly are always served first, with children being last. Children are expected to serve the elderly in every occasion. Unity amongst extended family is important. Samoan families are so close that they often are raised with cousins, aunts, and uncles. Every family member knows each other very well.

Samoans are passionate in their faith. Once they are converted to a religion, they stick with it. 

My father has made this a focus to our home. His motto was, “God comes first on every aspect of our lives.” The way he expressed this was by family prayers over the dinner table, paying church tithing, and attend church every Sunday.

Last is music. Music adds joy to the Polynesian family. It adds joy to our presence and is a way of celebrating thanksgiving. Like mentioned before, doing activities is important. Music is one of the many activities they prioritize.

The same goes for Mexicans. My mother taught us to have pride in who we are. This culture is known for working hard. They work hard to provide and survive within the family. My mother comes from a family of immigrants. They are from Yucatan and chose to move to the states to better the family. In order to do this, my grandfather moved to the U.S and got the family’s paper work done. The sacrifice was leaving the family for a time. My grandmother was on her own, raising five children. This is where our emphasis of hard work came from. “You work to reach your dreams,” my grandmother said.

Once my Mexican family moved to the states they were grateful because of the support they received from friends in the U.S; they have had an attitude of respecting all persons. The family motto was to serve your fellow beings. Everyone deserves love and respect.

There are many attitudes my family has I appreciate. If I were to pick two aspects of my culture to improve, it would be faith and family. Both of my cultures came from hard circumstances. Many sacrifices were made, but they stood close to their faith. I come from a family who worship God. Faith helped them overcome the fears and struggles they faced.

The other is family. Family is important. They are in the individuals who have helped me become the person I am today. I give them a lot of credit. It is because of them I have come to value morals. These morals have helped shaped who I am today in wanting to help others find their own morals. These standards add purpose and importance to life.

I’ve pondered on how I can improve and implement these traditions. I’ve committed myself to learn about religion and how it’s positive perspectives can help bring good morals to the family. The other is family. Right now, I am currently doing Marriage and Family studies to better understand how I can implement a good household. There is a lot to do. 

The Family and Religion

“There are obstacles all around us. We labor hard to reach our goals. Sometimes we see no signs of progress. We can become exhausted and discouraged. We may even lose sight of our destination. But we must not give up. If we could only see above our current circumstances and know our true location on the journey to eternal life, we would realize what great progress we are making.” Dallin H. Oaks

The LDS faith is a major emphasis in my life. I grew up in the faith and have applied many teachings from it. I’ve come to learn that the teachings are very family oriented. We care about the quality of family and how they are needed to get through the struggles of life. As mentioned by Dallin Oaks, there are obstacles around us. Today, we are given much advice as to strengthen the family. Intelligent people throughout history have given theories as to raise a family. But I learned that these teachings can be limited. Family is divine. It is a unit that existed before this mortal life. I have come to know that a being called the Holy Ghost is what brings direction to the family. The Holy Ghost communicates through our feelings, telling us what is right or wrong. It’s like a conscious. This is a God given gift to help us even when we cannot see beyond discouraging obstacles. This Spirit reveals, day by day, to every person who has faith, to things that are most beneficial to us. 

I’d like to use my sister for an example. She is married, with six children. She was reading from the Bible one day and had a spiritual moment. She received inspiration from God to implement family traditions or practices that are aligned with gospel teachings. She felt inclined to hold family meetings once a week and have everyone do little activities such as, building things, drawing, cooking, and etc. After these activities they would gather in prayer and discuss about what they learned. This bonded her family in a way where they feel united and happy. My Sister thanks God for the Bible, for giving her such an idea. This is a simple example of how spiritual things can unify a religion family.

We live in a world of low standards. Marriage today is looked on as an option, not a necessity. This perspective takes away the importance of matrimony. Dallin H. Oaks shared in a talk, “Unwed mothers give birth to 40 percent of all children now being born in the United states. Many people live together without marriage. The children born from those relationships do not have the security of parents committed to one another by the marriage God ordained for our first parents in the Garden of Eden.” I couldn’t agree more with this statement.

He continues, “Marriage is essential…In other nations, we must ask, what kind of marriage? There are formal authorized by law, and there are various customary or tribal marriages that can be entered into and discontinued without much formality.”

The issues of what we face in marriage today could go on. But, what I want to get across is that we can receive guidance and that can be managed through a spiritual perspective. A family can be successful through gospel teachings. Both parties got to be on the same page and be unified. Marriage is all about devoting oneself to each other. Parental alliance is important. Sacrifices will be made, but will be worth it. 

THE FAMILY vs. INFLUENCE
This week's lesson: Do not underestimate the influence of others. Every perspective is different. The theories within the family influence one's actions.

Hello everyone! I know this may look a little messy. I'm still learning how to put blogs together properly. Here below are my wonderful piers and their blogs. Each one will share topics focused on the family. I'm sure you will learn a lot from each and everyone of them. Have fun!

Sevanna Baird blog https://sevsfamily.blogspot.com

Kelsi Hansen Blog https://familylifegbb.blogspot.com/

Mick Burningham https://mbfamilytoday.blogspot.com

James Richens https://jamesrichensfamilyrelations.blogspot.com/

Ashlyn Hobbs https://ashlynhobbs7.blogspot.com/ (Links to an external site.)Jordan Hudson URL Blog   

https://jordanhudsons.wordpress.com/

Jordan Hudson https://jordanhudsons.wordpress.com/

Monique Reher https://monqiuereher.blogspot.com/

Elisabeth Hampton https://elisabethhampton.family.blog

C. Ming https://factsandfalsehoodsaboutfamilies.wordpress.com

Celeste Hixson https://celestehixson.blogspot.com/

Audrey Flores blog: https://audreykaydrey1.blogspot.com/

Kallie Slater blog URL: https://kfamilyrelations.blogspot.com

Rachel Romrell's blog URL: https://hints4happyhomes.blogspot.com

Megan Smoot's https://mdsfamilyrelations.weebly.com

Hope https://hopesfamilyrelationsblog.blogspot.com/

Angel Liang angelfamilyrelation.wordpress.com

Sarah Anderson https://terinbp.weebly.com/

 (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site.

Terin Bowden https://terinbp.weebly.com/

Abbie Jensen https://jense2am.wixsite.com/mysite

Jaden Sprague familyviewpointsblog.wordpress.com

Alisha Anderson https://relationsbetweenus.blogspot.com/

Becca Cardon https://beccafam160.wordpress.com/

Staci Moore https://stacimoore.blogspot.com/2018/09/intro-about-me.html

Nadira Cardova https://cordova-familiamatters.blogspot.com/

Torie O'Meara https://whoseyourfamily.blogspot.com/

Sydney Richens http://sydneyrichens.blogspot.com/

Lauren Steed  https://laurensfamilythoughts.blogspot.com/

 (Links to an external site.)

Monique-Sue du Plessis myfamilybolgspace.blogspot.com

Hannah Daley https://amodernfamilylife.blogspot.com/

Rebekah https://ontheinsideofbekah.blogspot.com/

Sierra Mitchell https://smfamilyrelationstopics.blogspot.com

Carter Riggins familiesintoday.blogspot.com

Brittany Wilde https://wildebrittanyfamily.blogspot.com/

Kira https://marriagemajormusings.weebly.com

Hayley Riphenburg http://hrwfamlrelation.blogspot.com/

 (Links to an external site.)

Little Children Show You Value and Importance
          A few months ago, I was struggling mentally, emotionally, and physically. I told my sister the negative situation I was in. She told me to not give up. She said, “My kids look up to you.” As soon as she said that, I pictured their beautiful faces and the smiles they give me. 
          Looking back now, I realized that these kids have been such a blessing in my life. They each carry a special light with them that brings joy and happiness. Their attitudes has shown me meaning and value to life. Their actions have taught me that everyone holds value and importance. They have seriously played a major role in my development. They drive me to be the best man I can be. They are amazing. They are the real superheroes in my life.
          Family are essential to life. I've learned that children are no accident. They are little beings with potential. It is up to us adults to help tailor their needs and become the best individuals they can be. Every one has a role in this life. All ages are needed.