Growing up I never understood the purposes in marriage. I never saw it as a companionship; this was because I never saw my parents converse with one another throughout the day. They were always just focused on us and not each other. But later I found out they would conversate when the kids went to bed.
My parents are planners. They were planners from the very beginning. They set goals and plans as to how to manage a family. Their goal was to bring forth good and hardworking people to this society. This desire came from their own experiences. My dad came from a family with a lack of parent figures. My mom comes from a family with a lack of father figures. They recognized how these perks affected them and their siblings. My parents felt their own family deserve better. They read books, went to parent meetings, and sought advice from professionals. One of their number one rules was to avoid spanking and hitting; another was avoiding vulgar language. They held true to these for all four of us.
Parenting is crucial to a child’s development. The way you parent can really set the tone of that person’s life. I’m not a parent yet but I understood the importance when I served a two-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Being a new missionary, you have a trainer to show you the ropes on how to be a successful. We had a special booklet to follow as well as exercises or activities to practice skills and techniques. When I would run into my peers some of them expressed that their trainers were lazy and didn’t have them work according to the books. This happened pretty often amongst my friends which made it difficult when I would be paired off with them because they would either be lazy or not confident in their occupation.
I imagined trainers to be like parents. They are there to set the tone and skills necessary to achieve success in your occupation. After seeing our program not being so effective by my peers I had the desire to prepare myself in being a trainer. I worked hard, I studied, and practiced habits to see what helped in making us successful. Others I knew did the same. By the time I trained my own missionaries I strived to make sure they were firm in all aspects of being a missionary. We read our manuals, we practiced, and did all that we could to be effective. Part of being a good trainer was communication. There were many times when I had to follow up with my trainees and see how they were doing mentally, physically, and emotionally. This bonded us; this helped us gain trust and love for each other. As a result, I was able to follow up and see them train others and be successful.
On the two-year mission I came to realize that I cared about our occupation. I cared about the program and I wanted to do good by training good people, so we can bring good to others and spread love and happiness. When I returned home, I gained the desire to be a parent. My desire is to bring in good children with a foundation of faith, love, and charity. I want to bring forth kids who will bless the community. But easier said than done.
Parenting takes careful planning and the right attitude. As of right now I’m studying the importance of emotional coaching. An emotional coach is a parenting style. It is when you are engaged in your children’s words, thoughts, and feelings. Emotion coaching is a technique that helps children understand their feelings. When parents emotion coach, their children learn how emotions work and how to react to feelings in healthy ways. Emotion coaching starts by recognizing your child’s feelings. These recognitions are perfect opportunities to learn and grow together. Try it out!
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